Sunday, December 8, 2013
About 10 days ago, I pumped for the very last time. I was down to pumping once a day and I was only making about 2 ounces. It was bittersweet for me. It has been so nice to have my body back and the freedom to live without a pumping schedule. However, it also meant that I was finished providing for Meeghan. I still have around 2000 ounces in the freezer so I am still providing for her, but I felt a bit sad that I wasn't giving her fresh milk anymore. She only has about 15 ounces of milk a day so I will be able to give her breast milk for awhile. I offered some to a friend of mine who just had a baby and is having trouble with nursing and pumping. It still amazes me that I made it that long. I never realized how much of my life it consumed, and how different my life was. Constantly dragging the pump and supplies with me if we left the house for a long time, cleaning parts, trying to entertain the kids while pumping, and waking during the night to pump even after Meeghan started sleeping through the night. Now that I quit I look back wondering how I did it. I am very lucky that with Meeghan I was encouraged by my doctor and her doctor to continue with pumping. When I tried pumping with Hannah I was told several times it would not work, and that I just needed to get her to latch. I only lasted two weeks with Hannah. I was uneducated about pumping, I was battling the baby blues, and I was told it wouldn't work. It is hard to fight against those things. I wish I could go back to those women (they were doctors and lactation consultants) and tell them that they should be more supportive. I made it 11.5 months, and I stopped on my terms. I could have gone longer. I know pumping doesn't work for everyone, but it is an option that women should have.
Friday, December 6, 2013
One year ago today, my little Meeghan was born (you can read about it here). I can't believe it has been an entire year. She has moved twice and lived in three different houses in her short life. She is walking, talking, laughing, and starting to throw tantrums. She is definitely becoming a toddler. She also loves to climb. She will climb anything that she can find. She is trying to communicate with us with words or signs. I can understand some of what she says, but most of it is still babbling. She loves Pepper. She will hug Pepper any chance she gets. Pepper tolerates her most of the time, but she isn't fond of Meeghan climbing on her. I am trying to soak up all this sweet toddler time because I know those terrible twos are on the way. I couldn't resist doing a little through the year pictures of her. I am biased, of course, but I think she is pretty darn cute. I can't wait to see what the next year will be like with her.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Thanks to my dad's generosity (and my mom's according to him) we will be heading to KC for Christmas. It will be nice to see KC at Christmas again. I haven't seen the Plaza lights in a few years as well as Christmas in the Park (a favorite of mine). I am hoping that I can quickly throw a birthday party together for Meeghan so my extended family can meet her. I figured it has been a year it may be time she is introduced to them. I hope it snows just enough so the girls can play in it, but not so much that it ruins plans. Hannah hasn't seen snow since she was 7 months old and she really wants to build a snowman. There is a tiny part of me that is sad we won't be here because we really haven't had a chance to start traditions, but I think it is good for the girls to be around their family. Plus a friend of mine just had a baby and I am dying to meet her. I can get my newborn baby fix without the sleep deprivation that comes with one.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Recently E and I had a conversation about how we have changed. I have become frustrated with him the last year. He has become more stereotypical man and I hate it. When Hannah was born, he was in school so he stayed home with her except for the few hours he was in class. I was the one who worked full time. Even though I was the one working full time I still cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked, got up with the baby during the night, and all the other stuff that comes with a household. Most days I would come home to find him playing Call of Duty in his underwear. It didn't bother me too much. I let it go most days. However, now that I am staying home and he works, he feels like he needs to tell me everything that must be done during the day and point out the areas that need work. I feel like he is a dictator. I had to make a chore schedule so he can make sure what days I will do stuff. Just today as he walked out the door, he made sure to mention the bathroom is dirty. I get it. I stay home which means I should take care of the house. Here is the thing that really pisses me off. He is home 90% of the time as well. Do you want to know how many days he has worked this week? One, and that is today. They don't have enough instructors so training is moving slowly. He did study yesterday after he went to the shooting range. He also went to the shooting range a few days before that. Oh, and he decided to go to a movie also. And when he is home, he hides in his office a lot. He will just walk off and play a computer game or watch a movie. I am left to fend for myself. I never thought he would be the guy that says he can't handle being around the kids for too long. He actually told me that he just can't handle them anymore. I feel a bit lost. I know he does stuff around here, but I firmly believe that a house should be cared for by the entire family. I am tired of picking up after another adult. I am tired of planning meals and having noses turn up when I set the table. I am not even sure where I am going with all this. I think I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel like I am stretched too thin. I can't be everything for everyone, can I?
Friday, November 15, 2013
Recently, Hannah has been asking about a few pictures I have of my mom. I told her it is her Nana. She of course wanted to know if she could talk to her. I then explained that Nana had passed away many years ago, and she wouldn't be able to see her or talk to her. I am not sure she really understands because one day she told me that her Nana died, but she will be alive again soon. She also told me that her Nana died because she didn't visit enough. That one broke my heart. I have told her that she can visit the memorial for my mom that my dad created. She was cremated and he has set up a nice little area in his house with the urn. Hannah liked that idea so if we make it back to KC for Christmas, I will show her the urn. For now I guess I will keep answering her questions the best I can.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Yesterday I ran my first 10K. I was a bit nervous since I only have done one training run at 6 miles, and that was 2 weeks ago. Thanks to the girls not eating breakfast quickly, we left the house late. Plus finding a parking spot was crazy so I only had 20 minutes once we arrived to get my timing chip, pee, and warm up. The bathroom line was long so I didn't really warm up much. It was pretty chilly too. It took the first half mile for my feet to thaw. Seriously. I am not used to the cold anymore and it was in the 50s. My feet were pissed! Once they finally thawed I was able to find a better stride. The race was through some neighborhoods which meant some nice scenery (and huge houses). My training runs are typically along a county road so I only see cars and strip malls. I told myself to take it easy and shoot for a 10 minute/mile pace. This is my proof of time race for the half in February. I just want to get out of the last corral so I didn't need to go super fast. Towards the end I was feeling pretty good so I said nuts to my plan and I took off with a mile left. I was hoping for an overall time of 1:05 based on my training run. However I started calculating during the 4th mile that I may be able to finish in an under an hour so I started to pick up the pace. I took off the last 0.7 mile and basically sprinted to the finish. It almost killed me, but I wanted the sub hour time. I just missed it. I finished in 1:00:41. I was under my goal so I was pretty happy. I know I am never going to be fast enough to win awards, but it felt pretty damn good to beat my goal and still feel pretty good after the run. The guy who won yesterday finished in 29 minutes. 29! That's how long it takes me to run 3 miles. That is freaking insane! Finally, what post isn't complete without the finish line picture? Here it is:
I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Friday, November 8, 2013
A few days ago Meeghan turned 11 months old. My baby is no longer a baby. She gave up on crawling and walks full time now. She is even close to running. She has started climbing. I hate the climbing stage. She is starting to put two words together like Hi Daddy or Hi Rowdy. She absolutely loves the dogs. Pepper is her favorite (probably because Pepper tolerates more). She loves bath time. She will start yelling bath as soon as I tell her it is bath time. Her sleep has been crappy lately, I think due to teething. She is very spunky and I love her for it. I weighed her on the Wii a few weeks ago and she was 17 pounds. I am guessing she is still around that. I have no clue how tall. She is definitely my little peanut.
|She is always hugging Pepper|