Thursday, April 24, 2014
Things around here have been tough. I feel like I am failing every day. Yesterday, I almost walked out of the house because I couldn't take it. I didn't because I had to watch the girls, but I was done with everything. Hannah and I are having a tough time. She is very stubborn. She is very opinionated. We are butting heads constantly, and I have no clue how to stop it. I have tried talking to her, I have tried giving her options, time out, yelling, taking away privileges, and even bribery. It feels like I am banging my head against a brick wall every day with her. I cried last night after I put her to bed because I was relieved I wouldn't have to deal with her attitude for another 10 hours. I am ashamed to admit it, but I was glad she was in bed. I was glad I didn't have to fight with her anymore. Getting her to do anything turns into an ordeal. Even eating a meal is tiresome. I know this is pretty normal for her age, but I feel like other moms know how to handle these situations perfectly while I am frazzled beyond belief. A few weeks ago as we were leaving the dentist, she ran away from me. She stayed on the sidewalk, thankfully, but she would not stop. I was holding Meeghan so I couldn't really run. I had to walk briskly while yelling for her to stop. Out of sheer frustration, I told her I was going to leave and she could stay at the office. It was then that she stopped and came back to me. I have been told that after they turn four, their behavior does get better. I hope it is true. Although I have another one that has definitely entered the terrible twos so I get to do this all over again. Despite her attitude and behavior, she did melt my heart last night when she thanked me for doing all the laundry in the house. Deep down inside my sweet girl still exists. I can't wait to see her again.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Today was the day that passholders can register early for the Disney World Marathon weekend. At noon, you could start registering. E and I decided to wait until his orders came through just in case the Navy changed its mind about his squadron. He came home at 12:05 with orders in his hand. I quickly jumped on the computer. E is registered to do the Goofy Challenge (half marathon Saturday and full marathon on Sunday.) I am terrified to say I am registered for the full marathon. My hand was shaking as I hit submit, and then I about crapped myself when I saw the amount of money we owed for the races. Then I went back to shaking because let's face it, 26.2 miles is a very long distance. Even though I am so scared to run those miles, I have found myself checking into the local marathons. We'll see in 9 months if I want to do another one.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Now that I know (or most likely know) that E will be home next January, I started considering registering for the Disney World Marathon. I told myself that I would never run a marathon. Never. Although a few weeks ago I started thinking about it. I know that I wouldn't be able to train for one with E gone. I just don't have the support system here to put in the long runs needed to train. However, if he is going to be home I don't have that excuse. He is definitely going to do it. He wants redemption after this year's fiasco. I go back and forth over registering. One day I tell myself to go for it. I need to do at least one just to try it. Disney is great because there are so many distractions, and people are there to have fun. Then the next day I tell myself there is no way in hell I want to run that many miles. Of course this all depends on orders which still haven't been cut. Early registration for annual passholders is Wednesday. Hopefully I have it all figured out by then.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
E has finally received verbal orders for his fleet squadron placement. He is almost finished with his training which means it is time to move on to the real world of the Navy. There are three P-8 squadrons. He was assigned to his third choice. He was told months ago that pretty much everyone would get their first choice so we were preparing for his first choice. First choice would have meant deploying this summer for 7 months. Turns out the Navy changed its mind and no one was given their first choice. What it all means is instead of leaving later in the summer, he could be leaving immediately after finishing for the deployment since the squadron is currently deployed. The good news is he would only be gone a few months instead of 7. The only bad part is he doesn't have paper orders yet, and well, the Navy can change everything again. He was disappointed that he was given his last choice, but in the end he is happy. He is ready to deploy and work on moving up the pilot ranks (even after they finish training, they aren't really finished.) He is excited to use the tools he has learned. The squadron he is joining is the one that is helping in the search for the missing Malaysian plane. I am not happy that he would be leaving so soon considering I haven't had a chance to really prepare the girls. He will also miss our family vacation this summer, but I will trade that for just a few months away instead of over half a year. However, since we are still waiting on official orders, it is still up in the air.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
A quick, bullet type recap of life for me lately:
- Rowdy has me trained. Yes, the dog has trained me. She wants in bed during the night and I tell her no. She then goes outside to bark. I get up to tell her to stop, and she runs to the bed before me. I usually don't care by then so I go to the couch to sleep. I am pretty sure my middle name should be Pushover.
- Meeghan doesn't really say Mama. I hear it on occasion, but it is rare. She will say Daddy all day long, but not Mama. It doesn't bother me too much until I heard her say Epcot one day. Really kid? I change your poopy diapers, I feed you, get up with you during the night, and you thank me by saying Epcot Oh well.
- I am still terrified of my backyard. I made E go out with me so I could scoop all the poop. He wanted to mow and asked me to pick up the poop. I may have cried while putting on my shoes, but it was the fastest I accomplished that task. The kicker is he didn't even mow after that.
- I have been trying some speed work to improve my pace. Speed work sucks. I hate it. I think I am content with my middle of the pack status. Or I need to give it a few more weeks to adjust to the workout. We'll see which thought wins.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
I have an intense phobia of snakes. I can't see one on tv, in a book, or even think about one. I get the chills just thinking about them. I live in Florida. Near trees and a body of water. It was bound to happen. The other day, Pepper scratched at the back door. I was making lunch so I wasn't really paying attention. I opened the door to let her out only to see a 2 foot snake slithering across my patio about one foot from my door. I screamed. I slammed the door, and then hopped around my house in fear that the snake would find its way inside. Then I remembered I should call Pepper in since I didn't know if it was poisonous. I slowly inched my way to the door and whimpered for Pepper until she came in. Actually, it didn't take much convincing. She didn't want to mess with it. I went back to making lunch because the girls were hungry. I kept an eye on my patio though until I finally saw it move to the yard. I was shaking so bad I could barely make lunch. I sent a text to E because I was so freaked out. I knew he couldn't do anything, but I needed to share. Thank goodness he was already on his way home so he was able to check out the yard shortly after I saw it. He didn't see it. I started crying after he came in. I couldn't hold in my fear anymore. I kept it together because I don't want to pass my phobias on to my kids, but I was so close to losing it. I haven't seen it since, and the dogs have also checked the yard for me. E found a hole that it may have gone in which is right by the wall to our room. I was expecting to see it curled up in my bed. (I may have issues.) Either way, it hasn't been seen since then. The rational side of me knows that they are out there, and there probably have been others in the yard. However, the crazy side of me was terrified the damn snake was going to crawl through the doggie door at night. I am the one that is on poop scooping detail, but that job is not happening for a while unless E does it. I wonder if I can teach the dogs to use the toilet...
Monday, March 24, 2014
Meeghan seems to be going through some sort of sleep regression phase. She does great until about 1 in the morning. The only thing that calms her down is to sit on the couch with the tv on. She isn't particular about what is on, she just likes the it on. I know, I know. Kids her age shouldn't watch tv, but darn it I want to go back to sleep! Usually within 10 minutes she is asleep. Unfortunately that means I am stuck on the couch with her. I used to be able to place her back in the crib without a problem, but lately she wakes up and cries. And cries and cries. I once spent two hours trying to get her back to sleep in the crib. Last night I tried for an hour before I moved her to the couch. She is very stubborn. So now if she falls asleep on the couch with me, we stay there. The couch reclines on both ends so I can at least stretch out while holding her. I must find a way to break this cycle though. I miss sleeping in my bed.